Hanisah Maskon

Food . Photos . Newbie .

2012-02-17T10:11:00.011+08:00

Okay okay okay alrighttt .

Been a busy busy beee! But first things first.

I got a new ph ph ph phonneeeee! Jyeah!

Initially I was pretty skeptical about the Samsung Galaxy Note because of its 5.3 inch display which is pretty big for a phone. But the more time I spend with it, the more in love I am with it. Te heee.

NEXT .

I accompanied my best friend and partner in crime to go shoppinnnn!. And trust me when I say that he is one hell of a shopper! 4 hours straight of shopping in town without rest. Talk about trauma. HAHAHA. But but but before I experienced such nightmarish shopping spree, he brought me to this quite well known eatery at Lucky Plaza.

And yes you can see him at the left side of this photo because he was yapping away and making fun of me taking photos about random stuff with my new phone.

Him: "Mentang-mentang lah ada telefon baru.. Asyik nak ambil gambar aje"

Yes Abdullah. I love taking photos. HAHA!

The food was fantastic. The aweomest thing was their sambal kicap and what seemed to be like a sambal belacan without the belacan. LOL. The spiciness of the sambal was on a whole new level. Seriously, if you are a chili addict, check this place out.

Ayam Bakar Ojolali

Lucky Plaza #03-39 S(238863)

Next time, I'm going to try out their Ikan Bakar Meal.

Ahhh. Totally in love.

Would be a series of pictures of Marina Bay that I had crazily taken with my NEW SAMSUNG GALAXY NOTE (heheee jakun much can?). Most were editted by apps.

Let the photos do the talking shall they? :))

let's go !

2012-01-29T18:58:00.006+08:00

After close to a month, feet feels alright and so I packed my bag with stuff and Dad's Nikon FM2. I went out and cycled to find that one place that I had sooo wanted to be to take photos.

And I found it !

Photos uploaded here were taken with my gonna-expire-soon handphone's camera.

Then cycled down to sembawang park via the Simpang Kiri Park Connector

Ahhh. I hope photos would turned out okay after the film's been developed.

to forgive before asking to be forgiven

2012-01-26T13:46:00.003+08:00

There were moments in my life when I found it extremely hard to forgive the wrong doings of others done towards me. When their words and actions had left wounds and scars and had caused so much pain and misery.

But then one day, when I made doa after my one of my daily prayers, I suddenly realised this:

I am seeking Allah's forgiveness for all of my sins, big and small, but yet I cannot even forgive the people around me. Who am I to not want to forgive them. Who am I to decide that their sins toward me are too huge a mountain to the point that I cannot forgive them. And even if they had never even say a simple "sorry" to me, who am I to belittle their actions when my actions are not even perfected yet.

If I am really seeking Allah's forgiveness, I think I should start forgiving others first. To clear and clean my heart before facing Allah and seek His gracious forgiveness.

2012-01-22T22:41:00.001+08:00

reflecting on my "modelling" experience

2012-01-18T23:19:00.008+08:00

A friend from my University saw pictures of me in this month's (January) 2012 issue of the Sutra Magazie, tagged me in Facebook and asked if that's me.

I've been keeping this on the low even after the photoshoot was over, because I was soooo nervous at how the photos would end up like.

I've been wanting to blog about my experience and my honest feelings about the shoot but did not know when until now. So here it goes! :)

What I struggled most during this shoot was the feeling of being "vulnerable". Although everyone (the staff) were very accommodating, and I was covered from head to toe, I just felt naked when I stepped on the white screen or whatever its called for the shoot.

I felt as if my self-esteem was completely stripped bare.

I felt as if I've placed myself on a platform for the rest to judge and criticize and it made me feel so small. I had never felt that way before. I've always believed that one of the important thing for a women to be beautiful is to be confident. And as my confidence level dropped drastically that day, I felt so ugly.

This song, Ugly by 2nE1 convey my feelings at that moment. If it were to be played as a background music, fuhhhhhh, it hits the spot.

Maybe I just feel out of place and awkward because it was my first time. But, how knows? *shrug shoulders*

What's for sure, I am definitely more understanding of artists and idols out there who put themselves forth for the public each and everyday. Their everyday life is already a platform for the public to either praise or criticize. I salute them for staying strong and having that smile on their faces *weet weeeet!*

Photos in the mag turned out well thanks to photographer, makeup artist (Natasha Ashikin), stylist (Nur Hanis) and editors. A great experience :)

Ibu's not so surprising surprise ^^

2012-01-16T23:49:00.006+08:00

Today ended well. Spent the whole day (though at different timings) with all of the people that I love dearly. Alhamduillah ^^

Went down to Changi Airport to hunt some chocolates for me Ma's birthday. Got me some Popeye's wonder chickens and their mashed potatoes which I LOVE. Then met my wonderful girlfriend, Nadrah as we were waiting for the bus back.

Oh. And, a stop for coffee is a must. So Killeney Kopitiam it was!

I got back home and ordered Golden Pillow and called my youngest bro to get a cake on his way back.

When my mom reached home, my dad started singing his own version of a Birthday Song -_- hahahaaa!

At around 2215hrs was when we celebrated dear Ibu's birthday :)

Happy 18th Birthday Ibu!

Hehh.

Oh!

Feet's doing a lot better now.

Thank you Allah!

It had been one roller-coaster ride with the pain that stuck around for 2 weeks.

Though I still cannot fully bend my feet downwards without feeling the pain, I am now able to escalate down the stairs with no sharp pains :)

Till then,

I'm a happy girl today.

Heee :p

d e v e l o p e d & e n h a n c e d

2012-01-14T00:23:00.001+08:00

Here I Am

2012-01-12T08:44:00.004+08:00

Yet again, one from the many powerful songs from Beyonce.

Which, expresses the things that I want to achieve. To simply exist is something that I've always wanted to deter from. There's still so much more that I want to achieve, to be and to love. Being young is a blessing. But being young and underachieved is another thing.

Many have told me that I've done and achieved plenty, but there's just more to what I am at the moment.

InsyaAllah, I will get there some day.

To be able to look back one day and say "I've lived my life with no regrets"

I sprained my feet while watching a dance competition

2012-01-02T22:35:00.010+08:00

I bet I'm the only person in the world who goes to a dance competition in a Community Club as a spectator and leaves the hall with a sprained, swollen ankle.

So let's share this embarrassing story of mine.

I sat down, crossed legged on the floor, watched the other participants dance for about an hour until it was my brother's turn. That's when I wanted to stand up and take a video. My beautiful legs were sleeping and I struggled to stand. My left feet was beyond my control and it turned anti-clock and landed on floor supporting my massive body weight. That's when I heard a loud cracking sound and I knew I was DONE for!

But of course THE face needs to be maintained, and I handled it like a boss. Then, because of my pantat gatal (itcy bottom), I went to accompany my friend, Siti to Orchard and then went to tuition at night.

So now, I have my swollen feet on the table, bandaged by my mom and covered by an ice pack. And being such a wuss, I prohibited my mom from massaging it.

Ahh. But other than that, today was fun! Hehh.

Till I blog again, pray for my beautiful fragrant feet to recover a.s.a.p ^^

No Loss

2012-01-02T09:46:00.004+08:00

"Something you thought was so incredible . . is so whack.

And you think, what was I thinking?"

- Beyonce Knowles

Allah knows best. Things that we really want in life might not the best for us and that's why, I guess, it's either taken away from us or had never been in our grasp.

your status is a flaw

2012-01-01T12:51:00.002+08:00

Holaaaaa!

Its been such a long time since I've blogged.

Technically, for the past weeks, I've had so much to rant and to talk about. But I'm learning to filter my thoughts before blogging them up, hence the ME staying away from the BLOGGER for a while. Heh.

So anyway, there's something that had been bothering me for some time now. Its about people who are always updating their statuses with things negative. What's up with that?

Always talking about how other people are so useless and character-less. How other people are senseless and shameless. What makes things worse is when I know these people who post such statuses and they aren't perfect themselves.

So chill. None of us are flawless.

Let's all run to our rooms, take a mirror and literally reflect ourselves. Unless we're perfect in every sense of the word, we don't have the right to put others down all the time.

2011-11-30T00:20:00.003+08:00

Have you ever had fire that never stopped burning within your soul? Or that dream that bugs you at the back of your mind from time to time?

. Keluarga 69 .

2011-11-08T13:14:00.001+08:00

"Assalamualaikum Pak"

"Ada ada adaaa! (ambil kapak)"

Ahahahaha!

. All I Ever Wanted .

2011-11-05T21:20:00.006+08:00

"So lonely inside,

So busy out there,

And all you wanted was somebody who cared"

There's just some things that I don't understand and I need someone to explain to me.

It'll be nice. It'll definitely be nice to have my own voice when it matters too.

. grandpa .

2011-11-04T13:04:00.004+08:00

I found a special post from my archives:

This clenched fists will open
The whispers of the wind will blow it away
Chirps of a feather will accompany
Singing to mask the cries of many

A lifetime worth of performance
Here and now
Giving to the heart's content
Drawing smiles in turn of frowns

- - - - - -

So suddenly, I miss grandpa .

I know he is my step-grandpa. But still, he was and is still very real to me.

I remember how each time when I'd balik kampung, he'd be the one teasing me and would constantly attempt to irritate me. And how I'd always give him my stares but he'll just laugh and continue to tease me again.

Then each time when it's time to come back home to Singapore and while everyone else in the family would take the taxi out to the main road, I'd be with him on his motorcycle. He'll send me to the main road and then would pass me back to my father's lap.

Then one night, there was a call. He died. I was still a small girl. Six or seven years old perhaps? I don't know the real reason why he died. But I kinda overheard that he coughed out blood because of his excessive smoking. I don't know. I never asked my parents the real reason why. Never. Not even now.

I love him. It's just how he never stopped trying to make me laugh. How he'd never stop making me feel so special even though when there's times where I get irritated and wished he'd go and disturb someone else. How he would always have me on his motorcycle. I remember him so vividly. How he smiled. How he laughed. His winks and smirks. His bushy, messy, wavy hair and how he'd always stand with his cigarette in his hand.

The memories with him was so short. But I'll never forget how he made me feel as if I was his favourite granddaughter. In life and death, he'll always my grandfather.

I miss him so much.

. Still Running .

2011-11-03T13:33:00.004+08:00

"But I still haven't found what I'm looking for . . "

. klutz is me .

2011-10-24T23:05:00.003+08:00

My klutz side was on a high today.

During tuition, while marking my tutee's mathematics paper, I suddenly flicked the red pen and it went flying towards my tutee's forehead, bounced and landed onto the table.

My tutee's 'sudden-opened-eyed' reaction vs my bewildered face. I was so embarassed. Hahaa!

After that I went to 7-Eleven to get something to munch on. As I walked through aisle after aisle of snacks and munchies, my bag suddenly caught onto a stack of ferroro roche's boxes. "KE-TING! KE-TONG!". Two of the boxes fell. One of them slide underneath the beverage fridge and then went missing.

Flustered, I immediately looked at the cashier, said sorry went down on my knees searching for that box of chocolates. My hands couldnt reach it, so I took my umbrella and tried to somehow get it out by pushing the box sideways.

Ahhhh.

That's two more moments to add on to my already mountainous embarassing moments.

I'm such a klutz :(

. Let's Go! .

2011-10-22T13:45:00.011+08:00

The other day I woke up late, stuffed things into my bag, slipped on my slippers, sweat pants and hoodie. Still with my spectacles on, I frantically went towards the bus stop, waiting for the bus that goes directly to Changi Airport.

Because I am going to Korea.

Hahaaa! I wish!

I was supposed to take a train from Changi Airport to Pasir Ris coz it's nearer that way. But I was already very late, so I took a cab from the Arrival Hall instead.

The poor cab driver thought that I had some luggage to put in the back seat. He even wanted to help that he unbelted himself and went to the back, only to realise that I had already sat inside the passenger seat.

[ To the gracious Mr. Taxi Driver, I'm so sorry for troubling you. ]

Soooo, where did I go when I met my friends at Pasir Ris Interchange with my "just-woke-up-from-sleep dressing"?

It had been a long time since I sat foot on Pulau Ubin.

It was a wonderful trip. As I had always been around the North and West side of Ubin because of NPCC camps, it was an eye opener when we ventured around the East side. I guess the best part was when we saw the beautiful little cottage house. Soooooo pretty!

Because Singapore really is a small island-city-country, Singaporeans like us tend to enjoy and appreciate even the most simplest trip away from the city life.

Definitely looking forward to going back again. Next time for the hike up Puaka Hill.

Hahaa. Anyone? (((:

2011-10-12T11:25:00.005+08:00

Ties and bonds are really important to me. Be it family, friends or the my relationship with God, I treasure each and every one of the relationship established. Then, of course, when such relationships comes into place, loyalty becomes an essential.

So when loyalty suddenly lead to the being of pathetic, I question everything.

I, need to get away.

2011-10-09T14:05:00.004+08:00

"Dunia dewasa tidak sebebas dulu lagi, terpaksa mendiamkan diri, apa di hati"

- Sesuatu Janji, Taufik Batisah

There are things that I want to say, write, to blog about. But when I'm facing the screen and my fingers are all ready on the keyboard, my mind suddenly silenced itself.

Then, all that I wonder about is whether it is really worth it.

Guess it isn't anymore.

. Finally! .

2011-09-29T13:21:00.008+08:00

Finals are finally over. Alhamdulillah!

It was one of the most painful period of my life, but having friends around helped alot, especially Atikah Syarah who was with me throughout the whole time.

Once it was all over, all that was ever felt was relief and pure joy. Ahaha. I'm very very very happy :)))

Right now, what's left is to tawakkal, leave everything up to God. InsyaAllah I am able to clear the exams :)

Other than that, its time to do a decent update!

____________

Hari Raya 2011

The first day of Hari Raya for this year was spent at my kampung. It was really a short one because 2 of my younger brothers and I have school the next day. Although I really wanted to stay over for a few days, we could not :(

But! its better than not going at all. Hee.

Weekend on the first week of Hari Raya was spent with my maternal relatives. Like always, it was awesomeee!

The bus stopped in the middle of the expressway because of a malfunction and everyone burst out laughing. My aunty was like shouting "Its like the Scenario movie!".

And then in the evening, the whole lot of us sent my cousin to the Civil Defence base camp for his booking in. And I was shouting "Like the movie Army Daze!" And as the bus moved, all of us waved vigorously. Even the abang-abang guards who were at the gates waved back! Hahaa.

The following weekend was spent with my paternal relatives. Everyone was around, even my cousin from KL came down ^^

Hari Raya was also spent with my Uni friends and it was awesome! Daebak! Hanging around with them was freaking fun! My stomach and back ached so much when we were laughing hard. Ahhh. It was fun :)

Although Hari Raya clashed with classes and deadlines for assignments and I could not really spend more time with the people I love, those short memories with family and friends were really awesome <3!

____________

New Addition to the Family!

My aunty gave birth to a girl last 2 weeks. Sabrina! Hahaa. I have a cousin who is 21 years younger than me. I can imagine years from now, I would be shopping with her when she is 15 years old and I'll be 36 years old. People are going to think that she's my daughter. Ahaaa.

Anyway, having spare time now means that I can visit my relatives anytime I want. I look forward to it!

Other than that, I look forward to start planning for the training camp and community projects.

Heee!

. predicted tears .

2011-09-21T13:10:00.004+08:00

I have this song on replay at the moment.

Sitting for my finals now means that I am going to be opening a new chapter of my life soon. It also means that I will soon be declaring that I will no longer be with the unit.

With the unit finally going to have capable CIs at the end of the year, it's really time to step out.

Farewell Night is going to be a teary one.

Selamat Hari Raya :)

2011-09-16T10:57:00.004+08:00

. bothersome .

2011-08-28T02:55:00.002+08:00

"People come and people go and people gonna come some more"

I cannot agree with this more, to the extent that I cannot be bothered to bother anymore. Get that? Heh.

Everyone is entitled to be happy. Being affected by behavioral changes of the people close to me is not really something that could contribute to my happiness. There is no point in trying to salvage a friendship when it is only one sided. Neither is there any point in being dependent on any being who have made it clear that you would never be a priority in their lives as you used to.

Just move on, stay strong and be happy.

Haiyoo. Di akhir-akhir Ramadhan ini, cabaran semakin meningkat. Emosi semakin senang terusik.

Sabarlah.

. raw footage .

2011-08-25T06:00:00.006+08:00

I thought of photoshop-ing these film-processed photos to give a more vintage effect first before uploading it in my blog.

But then I thought against it and decided to leave it raw instead.

I want to try using an expired roll of film next!

. body weight .

2011-08-22T15:43:00.013+08:00

I wish people would stop commenting on me gaining weight and making it a big deal out of it. I've put on a few kilos, okay fine, I get it.

I have no issues with friends of mine who have made the fact that I've gained weight into a joke. I make jokes about my weight too anyway.

But don't even tell me that I would look better if I were a few inches smaller or that I should do something about my weight. Telling me to go and exercise would never make me run that mile to do so.

Me 3 years ago

Me, now

If I am ever going to start losing weight, start exercising and sticking to the routine, it'll be because I want to. It'll be because of my health or I've found it harder to chase after a bus or climb the stairs. But so far I'm still healthy, so why should I try to lose the kilos just to please someone?

Chubby? Yes, definitely. Cute whatttt. Hahaha! But not gemok gedempol okay.

I've heard people talking about me. Some in front of my face, some behind my back. Most of the time, I couldn't care less. But Hari Raya is coming and relative visits are inevitable.

Comments from makcik-makciks can be destructible. Then there's just those people who would always see you as a lower form than them, and comments from them can get people like me burn with fury.

And because we cannot stop people from talking . . . guess what? I've already planned my reply to every unnecessary questions that they may ask me again.

"What happened to youu?!"

"Hahaaha. Nothing, Taufik yang nak Nisa gain weight"

"Kakak dah gemuk eh?"

"Yup. Taufik tak suka kakak skinny"

"Fuhhh. Dah gempal eh sekarang? Bila nak exercise ni?"

"Nanti ah, bila Taufik free nanti dia ajak Nisa pergi gym"

Amaciammm? Best tak reply macam gitu? Its the type of reply that is guaranteed to make the person want to puke and change the topic from talking about how much I've gained weight to how perasaan I am. Clever or whatttt?

Oh gosh. I am the tercute and terawesome of all :p

HAHAHAAAAA!

Selamat menjalankan ibadah puasa yang tinggal kurang lagi seminggu lagi! Hee! :D

. Kenal tak Kenal . Cinta tak Cinta .

2011-08-21T23:44:00.003+08:00

"Tak kenal maka tak cinta" A Malay proverb that means, you wont love something unless you get to know it.

I used to say "I'm not a bird, I don't tweet" and was very confident and adamant about it. A year later, I made a twitter account to find what all the fuss is all about. I began to read tweets from the accounts which were not made private. And a few months after going undercover, WHAM! I'm a bird now and I TWEET! Hahahaa!

"Semakin kenal, cinta semakin pudar" My own self-made proverb that means, the more you get to know something, the lesser the love for it.

Ever found yourself finding something that you once loved, disgusting? When I was a kid, I used to LOVE to catch spiders and keep them in those tiny cylindrical containers. I used to love to catch cockroaches too and then hold them by their feelers and pull their legs one by one. Omg, I was such a crazy tomboy, torturing living things like that. But as I get older, and I get to know spiders and cockroaches more through books and documentaries, I get more and more disgusted.

A cockroach 10m away can get me running.

Well, actually, that's an exaggeration. HAHAHAH. At most I'll just walk away . . . unless it chases after me. I'll be running and screaminggg!

I guess in life it is not a definite that knowing something/someone more would lead to a greater love for it.

It depends I guess :p

In the right context, ignorance really is a blessing.

. scars and smiles .

2011-08-19T21:01:00.005+08:00

Its easier to push it away rather than to live knowing that you'll have to deal with the pain of losing it in time to come. The question is whether or not it is the right thing to do :/

I don't know

Nothing's constant. Being too attached to something can make the mind go crazy one day.

Ugh.

Something's wrong with me.

Hmm, belum mandi agaknyer.

Hahahahaha!

Anyway, it's already the 20th of Ramadhan. Don't forget about the Lailatul Qadr night amongst these last 10 days. May we all get the benefits from the extra special blessed night. InsyaAllah :)

. My Maccona Love Story .

2011-08-16T06:16:00.003+08:00

Yuna and her lovely lovely lovely voice :)

Ever felt that tingling sensation when your eyes caught onto something? When you just don't ever want to let go of the gaze but at the same time you know that it is simply too impossibly easy to fall in love without any former communication.

Ahh .

To be in love is a wonderful thing ain't it? Especially when the taste lingers on time after time.

*Senyum mentally mentel*

Heheee.

This is Maccona.

And I'm in loveeeeeee.

[ http://www.moccona.com.au ]

I've been in love with this ever since my mom first bought it.

Well, actually, when my mom first bought it, I looked at the bottle of Maccona and was like "Ugh, what is this coffee? I'm not going to drink it"

I was going to stay loyal to Nescafe and was adamant about it.

A month later, we ran out of of those 3-in-1 Nescafe.

And nak tak nak, I made myself a cup of Maccona coffee and wham!

La la la la La la la la.

Hahaha.

I still love Nescafe, but Maccona is at the top of my list now <3 !

If you're a coffee lover like me, go and try it out!

Like, seriously, try it.

Coz it is awesome, like me.

Heee!

. Us, women, against the World .

2011-08-14T23:27:00.007+08:00

I had a presentation recently on anorexia and the type of therapies that could be used and applied for individuals suffering from it.

The more research done, the more horrified I felt. Disgusted and mortified.

I suddenly remembered about this video that I saw in my tumblr dashboard.

While the people suffering from eating disorders like anorexia bulimia often seeks unrealistic perfection, I guess the question is, who pumped in those unrealistic images of perfection into our minds?

I remember someone told me that there was this lady who was so stressed out months before her wedding because her fiancee wanted her to lose weight and have that slim and hour-glass shaped body. Now, here's the thing, her fiancee himself was a plus plus size. So what right does he have in forcing her to lose weight? Seriously?

Nak birthday present? I ada cermin extra.

. Terawih yang Indah .

2011-08-07T23:46:00.005+08:00

Okay! Before reading the subsequent post, play the music video below untuk feeling feeling. Heheh.

Alhamdulillah!

Sekian lama teringin untuk berterawih 24 rakaat sepenuhnya (sebab tidak pernah aku yang daif ini lakukan, cuma setakat 8 rakaat ajer adalah) Ramadhan kali ini dapat juga melaksanakan bersama sahabat yang tercantik dan ayu sekali.

Ashikin Idris!

Hahaa. I ripped this from her facebook account. Hahaha! Jangan saman aku okay Shikin? :P

The first completed terawih is one of the awesome-est things that had happened to me.

Remember the previous post when I talked about seeking forgiveness from Allah?
Well, after the terawih, the Imam gave a syarahan (speech) and its about making this Ramadhan a more meaningful one than the previous.

After the syarahan, he finished it by reciting a prayer in Malay, which I think is brilliant because people like me (who cannot understand Arab) would be able to understand and hence be more khusyuk.

Doa yang memohon maaf atas segala dosa-dosa kita dan ibu bapa kita

Doa untuk berterima kasih dengan pemberian Allah yang tiada tandingannya

Doa meminta rahmat dariNya di dunia dan akhirat seandainya ini adalah Ramadhan yang terakhir untuk kita.

Doa untuk memakbulkan hajat-hajat yang terpendam di lubuk hati.

Alhamdulillah! Macam ditakdirkan gitu dapat mendengar syarahan dan dibacakan doa sampai tersedu-sedu dibuatnya.
Panik sikit pon ada lah bila air mata jatuh nonstop, sebab tak bawa tisu. Jangan hingus terkeluar tahap kronik sudah.

Hahahaa.

Tapi yang pasti, diri aku dan Shikin lebih bersemangat untuk meneruskan perjuangan kita untuk menyempurnakan Ramadhan ini dan menjadikan ia sebagai Ramadhan yang lebih baik dan indah untuk kita dari bulan-bulan Ramadhan yang lepas.

Usia semakin meningkat, perangai pon mesti lebih jadi baik.

Jangan buang masa remaja kita!

Remaja seh.

Hahahaa!

Salam semuanya!

. Something Deep .

2011-08-05T06:38:00.011+08:00

Ever had a talk with someone about something so deep and personal that you just cannot stop thinking about it? Well, I had mine and I'm still having its' after effects.

"And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him" (Qur'an 65: 2-3)

I know and realise how close to nothing I am. So many mistakes, so many wrong turns I had made. Yet, Allah had always been there. Always so giving, always so forgiving.

I remember once I poured out my worries to a close friend of mine. I told her how distraught and afraid I was in not being granted Allah's forgiveness. I was almost certain that Allah would not forgive my sins.

Wise as she was and still is, she stayed quiet for a moment before saying that I was wrong to belittle Allah even if it wasn't my intention too. She continued to say that by being almost certain, by believing that my sins are too great to be granted forgiveness is a sign of belittling Him. She said, "He is the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful. No sin is too big for Him to forgive if He wants to."

"Certainly no one despairs of Allah's Mercy, except the people who disbelieve" (Qur'an 12: 87)

Wallahualam.

This ramadhan, InsyaAllah, let's all seek His forgiveness and strengthen our relationship with Him :)

Let's vote for a change for ourselves!

Insya-Allah!

. The Awesome Lunch Affair .

2011-07-30T19:59:00.020+08:00

It was one of the best Saturdays :D

I had a gathering with my madrasah (religious class) friends and Ustazah at Wanna B cafe at Arab Street. It was a first time for all of us there and it was fantastic.

The food was, baikkk punyerr! The baked spaghetti was such a treat. AWESOMEEE! Hee!

The ambiance at level 2 was lovely. It was really cosy and welcoming. Other than a mass of makciks-makciks who were really loud and chaotic, the rest of the place was empty in the afternoon (I’d reckon it’ll be packed when the sun’s down).

Behind me. Makcik2-makciks were behind meeee! Kecoh benorr lah sangat sangat.

Anyway, still almost having the place to ourselves, we went around and took photos. Ustazah was funny. She kept posing while being all so adorable with her antics.

Photoshoot #1 : Pasrah / Emo

Photoshoot #2 : Sassy Sexxyyy . Hahah. Posing yang melampauuu.

Photoshoot #3: Layan sendiri.

Photoshoot #4 and above : Group photos :)

A happy lady is always with a happy tummy. Wahaha!
So we went around Arab Street and Haji Lane after eating. Took photos, went from shop to shop who sells some of the most cutest stuff ever.

The never ending stalls which sells extensively diverse range of shawls.

Shawls paradise!

Presenting our very own Pampered Princess! Siti Shariffah Abd Rahman!

Rock is us! Macam paham.

For those who don't know, I actually had a problem trying to pose for this picture. Haha. See my arms straightened to my left? It's because I had no idea where to place my bag. Nak cepat-cepat tangkap gambar ni pasal ada Minah Salleh kat dalam kedai . . Maluuu. Jadi posing asal main hentam ajeee. Tu muka pon tengah confuse tak tau macam mana nak senyum. Hahaaa. Selenge.

It was lovely to meet every single one of them except for my cousin, Diyana who couldn't make it. We miss each other as much as missing those weekly madrasah lessons. After years of studying weekly together, I guess we've already fostered that sisterly bond between us. We were so comfortable with each other even when we all have different and distinct personalities. We talked sense and nonsense and were free to be crazy. It was a really beautiful day for us and I want a gathering with the lovelies again!

Nisa sayang semuanya! Heee!

After that, I went off to meet up with my two dearest buddies, Abdullah and Vincent, and went to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

Now, here’s the thing. I’ve read all the books but I’ve read the last two books 3 times and I know what to expect in the movies.

But nothing, nothing could stop tears from falling as I watch the final movie of the whole Harry Potter Saga.

When Severus Snape was dying and passed his memories to Potter.
When Potter went to the Pensieve to discover the secrets of Severus Snape.
When the whole of Hogwarts (except Slytherins) came forth to defend Potter.
And when the souls of his parents and godfather, Sirius gave him strength . . .I cried.

But there was this Malay couple beside me who I presumed did not follow the saga and just sat in to discover what the fuss was about this finale movie. The girlfriend made remarks and asked questions throughout the movie. While it was all irritating, there was one remark which made Abdullah and I giggled like mad.

To those who have watched the movie or read it at least, there would be this part in which Harry Potter would kiss his snitch before facing and surrendering to Voldermort. Well during that part, the girlfriend said. “What is he doing now? Eating the feraro roche?”

God. Hilarious. For that one comment that she did, I forgive her for being irritating during the movie.

So that’s it for Harry Potter I guess. It had been an awesome journey with him. For most of us who grew up with him, it is time to move on. But don’t fret, because Harry Potter and his friends would always be with us, in our hearts.

CHEH CHEBEDAH!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Note: Kudos to Rusydiah for the lovely photos!

. Sang Singa Menguaammmmmm! .

2011-07-29T07:28:00.009+08:00

Ahhh kannn . . .

Mak kan selalu pesan jangan bongkak, hidung tinggi, jangan nak lebihkan bunyi tin yang kosong.
Lesson learnt : "It's not over till its over"

I won't comment about how the footballers played cause seriously, I'd look stupid if I start talking about football. Haha.

To the Lions, congratulations for sticking it through physically, emotionally and mentally as well.

I'd say that I am really proud that the Lions showed awesome characters while in the field and during this whole gruesome week. Role models! :D

Congratulations on making it through to the next rounddddd!!!

Anyway . . . check these pictures out :

See that No. 18?

See that? Nampak taakkk?

No. 18!

Lionel Lewis!

Ahhhh hahaha! The goalkeeper with the cutest serving kicks. I had a huge crush on this guy like 5 - 6 years ago. Like HUGEEE. Haha. I could imitate his serving kicks (or whatever they are called), I wrote his jersey number on my secondary school textbooks, and read up on him. I remember being soo freaking jealous when Nadrah saw him in person when she was in Bugis Junction. Ahhahaha. Angau betoii.

I was so estatic when he received the 2004 Tiger Cup Most Valuable Player award.
And he had just resumed training, recovering from his groin injury. I look forward to seeeeee him play in future matches. Heee.

This is supposed to be a post about the match yesterday but it seems as if I'm blogging only about Lionel Lewis. Haha. Ahh wells. Ana punya suka hati ahhh.

"C'mon everybody . . feel the power . . feel the heat . . its the dream teammm . . . ohhh yeaaaa"

Note: All of the photos found here are taken from Yahoo.Sg

. Ohhhh, mengupat ye? .

2011-07-27T22:40:00.005+08:00

If you want to mengupat (talk behind) or sindir (be sarcastic) about a person, just make sure that you know and are sure that the person would not understand what you are saying.

Not sure where I am going in this post? Read on.

I went to 7-11 to get myself a can of coffee. As I paid for it . .

Malay cashier that was serving me: "Want to get a magnum as well? Buy 1 get 1 free."

Me: "Hahaa. No, thank you." (don't ask me why I laughed. I have no idea too)

Then there was this Indian cashier who was sitting at a corner with her head down, while (I presumed..) settling the accounts. She said this in Malay directed to the Malay cashier serving me:

"Mesti lah tak nak. Dia cuma makan ice cream mahal ajer"

("Of course not. She'd only eat expensive ice cream")

I was surprised that I just had to stare at her.

The cashier then looked up and realised that I definitely look as if I would understand things said in Malay. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

And I all managed was a smile.

Hahahaa!

I swear I was tempted to reply and say this to her:

"Tak lah, saya cuma mampu beli ice cream paddlepop lima po sen aje"

("No lah, I can only afford the 50 cents paddlepop ice cream only")

Anyway, Singapore Vs Malaysia 2nd league match at Bukit Jalil Stadium, Kuala Lumpur, would be on tomorrow. Now, I am not a major fan of football and have no favourite team. But I cannot deny that I am feeling the heat as a Singaporean too. Heee.

Apparently there actually was a theme song for Singapore's football team in 1993.

And it is actually cool. Better than some of the NDP songs, I feel.

Let's hope for the best for the Lions tomorrow.

ROAR!

. Ramadan 1432/2011 .

2011-07-20T01:13:00.000+08:00

Ramadan

Ketibaanmu dinanti-nanti

Keberkatanmu disanjungi

Indahnya malam apabila kedengaran

Bacaan ayat-ayat Quran yang suci

Dengan iringan tangisan dari hati yang telah lembut disentuhi

Janganlah kita meragui

Janganlah kita sangsi

Bahawa bulan yang penuh barakah ini

Adalah bulan yang tidak dapat ditandingi

Mari, mari ke sini

Mari kita sambut bulan ini dengan seikhlas hati

Meringankan tangan untuk membantu

Menadahkan tangan untuk memohom ampun dari Ilahi

Jangan kita melepaskan peluang ini

Peluang yang kita tidak pasti jika dapat disambut lagi

Kemas rumah, kemas hati, kemaskan diri.

Ramadan nak dekat sampai lagiiii!

APM 2011

2011-07-18T14:34:00.000+08:00

I won't be blogging about the winners. You guys would be able to read a comprehensive post about APM 2011 from the blog, PujuanggaMalam from whose photo of Taufik Batisah and Rossa I've taken and put up above :)

The night of APM 2011, a friend and I had to give tuition to a group of kids which ended at 9.30pm. I reached home at around 9.50pm and went straight to my mom's room and sat beside her. Without taking off my hijab, I quickly asked her . .

" Taufik dah perform belum?"

My mom smirked and said "Dah"

Of course I didn't believe. Coz Taufik would've waited for me to return home before he would perform, kan kan kan? Hahhaa.

Hady deserved the winnings.

Taufik needs to fall in love again before he could write and compose a song that touches the soul.

Like the song "Usah Lepaskan", which I believe was based on his own personal experience.

It was, and I believe, is still popular because listeners could relate to that song of his.

Tapi takpe, Nisa tetap sayangkan Taufik, selepas Batman of course.

Hahahaahaaaa!

2011-07-17T23:31:00.001+08:00

Ignoring is my best coping skill.

. Senyum .

2011-07-17T14:24:00.000+08:00

I cannot fathom the intensity of the love I have towards this song :)

In Islam, smiles are like one of the gifts that a person can give to his/her loved ones. "Senyum itu sedakah"

I remember being in the train on the way to work during the holidays. When the train reached Yishun station and the train doors opened, sitting on the platform was this makcik who was fanning herself. She had this striking resemblance of an Ustazah who gives marriage counselling sessions at my part-time work place. But I was not wearing my contact lens, nor my specs, so I couldnt really be sure that she was who I thought she was. I wanted to smile at her, but was hesistant because of the fear of . . . "What if she isn't Ustazah?" "What if I smile at her but she won't smile back?"

So I didn't smile.

When I was at work, the Ustazah arrived some times after I did. I asked her whether she was the one sitting at the Yishun platform. Apparently, it was her. I laughed and confessed that I was in a dilemma on whether to smile at her or not.

She told me that even if she wasn't the person whom I thought she was, I could've still smiled. It is okay to smile even to a stranger. "Senyum itu kan sedekah?" She said with a smile.

The thing is, I know. I know that smiling is like donating to a person. But along the way in this messed up world and me being increasingly defensive towards people have made me that way. Always so careful. Always so defensive, even to the extent of giving out a smile.

But I guess for everything, there is a hikmah. And that was it. That was a mini turning point for me.

Days after that, just for fun, I started a mini experiment of my own. I smiled at unknown makciks and nyonyas. I smile at the people who caught my eyes on trains, buses, and places all over. While some turned their heads away (coz maybe my smiles were creepy), most of them returned my smiles.

So smile people! Smile and the world will smile back at you!

2011-07-17T12:53:00.000+08:00

I am rindu-ing (missing) these peopleeeeeee:

Nifsu Syaaban 2011

2011-07-16T22:59:00.000+08:00

As a new book of deeds is bestowed upon us, I guess it is also time to make way for a new chapter of our lives.

A year ago, I was so full of life and believed that I could do anything and everything that I'd want. I was so happy and comfortable in my own little bubble. But little did I know what God had in store of me.

Oh the drama. Haha. I guess what they say about movies are true; that they are a reflection of reality.

So much pain, so many lessons learnt.

I remember how painfully excruciating was the period when I had to learn to take things in my stride, to accept and to move on. I remember how mentally torturing it was to learn to let go.

And then there were moments when I felt so used. I felt like a puppet, a doll, a temporary shelter for the lonely. I couldn't believe how stupid and gullible I was. Being a victim from my own kindness was a tragedy.

There were also those who betrayed and backstabbed. Those who had secretly allowed their feet to peep out while waiting for me to trip over it and fall.

There were dark periods when I felt so bitter towards things, towards people, towards life. I felt so lonely and vulnerable.

But there were precious moments as well. Those moments spent with loved ones. The birthday parties. The memories with the 9th batch of NCOs. The squeals of delight and thankfulness as academic results were released. Meeting of baby Isaac and definitely, being committed to the donning of the hijab.

I'm really thankful that God had never gave up on me. Alhamdulillah.

So now as I continue on this journey of life, I have nothing but the trust in Allah and the hope for the best and relentless happiness. InsyaAllah :D

2011-07-13T23:56:00.000+08:00

For the many things that had happen, I still do find myself turning to Him.

The Creator who had always been and will always be there.

2011-07-09T23:32:00.000+08:00

Cinderella had always been my bestest best fairytale since I was younger than the young that I am now. Heh.

It's full of hope, of kindness and of holding tightly to dreams.

And of course I do dream about being with someone who has prince-like characteristics which isnt that impossible to find actually. Just someone who has charmingly good looks with at least a million dollars in his bank account. That would suffice.

So unless a guy has at least those to characteristics, I refuse to even consider him.

Yeah right. Hahahah! Perangai.

C'mon, even a kid would know that there is a reason why a Fairytale is called a Fairytale.

But there's no reason why I shouldnt have high expectations on my choice, considering the things that I've been through, I guess the only way to get your "Prince" is to start expecting someone who would act like the "Prince" of your choice and not settle for anyone just because of people's remarks and comments saying that you are too meticulous, picky or what makcik-makcik wannabes call "cerewet".

I'm sorry . . .

Tetapi mencari teman hidup bukan macan nak pilih tauge kat pasar - angkat segenggam lepas itu terus sumbat dalam plastik.

And I appreciate it if people would divert their concern for my personal life elsewhere.

Thank you.

Anyway, I've started to consider a few career paths, each with its own pros and con. Let's just hope at the end of the year at least, I'd be able to be comfortable with my own decision for a career.

InsyaAllah!

2011-06-30T22:50:00.000+08:00

"Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope" - Qu'ran 2: 286

Moments like these, when I just feel like pushing everything aside and give up, when I could just choose to forgo everything in my life and continue to be busied in deep slumber, I learn to appreciate Islam even more.

I salute those who go through life with such gusto, courage and with complete faith in Allah's decree.

For me, who is still weak as a Muslimah, still do waiver from time to time. The tendency to simply slip into a coma of sadness is tempting as compared to battle it through to see the sun. Then there's times when I question why various things happen to me and appeared to be so unappreciative and incomprehensibly difficult to be tamed to regularly recite the Qu'ran to find peace and strength but turned to listening ballad sad songs instead.

I blame myself for many things because I can't possibly blame Allah for my misfortunes. But sometimes I blame myself too intensely that I forgot that by being so sad and not accepting heartaches and pain that indirectly, I am not accepting Allah's decree, his qada and qadar.

And that's just not right.

At this point, I'm confused. Feelings and memories are overwhelming me at this moment and I'm not sure where I'm heading to in this post, but what's for certain, bit by bit, I'll figure things out :) Insya-Allah.

2011-06-21T21:54:00.000+08:00

It had been a tough month for me.

So tough that I felt as is I was falling apart for the umpteenth time.

But I feel better now, Alhamulillah.

2011-05-22T22:58:00.001+08:00

I need a short fishing session after the exams.

Just me and dad.

2011-03-23T23:48:00.000+08:00

I've never seen so many beautiful ladies before! <3

2011-03-20T18:50:00.000+08:00

Amidst the mist that keeps on blurring the sight given, she wondered if there could ever be an end or a form of mystical being who could clear it all away. She tried to scream for help. Yet, all that was ever managed was silence. Her voice was being pounded, pushed, prevented.

So many unsaid words, so many swarming thoughts, so much intensity of unresolved emotions in which she rely on time to eradicate.

2011-03-10T13:40:00.000+08:00

As the silence creeps in through the sills

What remains was what it had always been

The cold shudder and the restless night

Never had left this tangled mind

And as what seemed to be, became a profile

An imprint, a stamp of self despite the lies

The depths of the unspoken paves its way

The slow stirring moments of what was continued to fray

A new dawn

A new day

- - -

Ah yes, I feel poetic today.

Other than that, my head aches as if a grenade had been thrown at me and Bruno Mars didn't catch it. My body aches and I woke up super late today. Kes tidur mati terus.

God give me strength to continue this journey :)

2011-03-07T23:03:00.000+08:00

I guess it has come to a point of either innately and entirely putting my trust to Allah, or go around whacking myself till the end.

I guess it has come to a point of either believing in hikmah and the positive outcomes that may be reaped from this ordeal or to permit myself the liberty to be stuck in realm of disappointment, anxiety and discontentment.

"Therefore, do not become excessively anxious when you think of pain, and do not fear suffering. It might well be that through pain and suffering that you will become stronger. And furthermore, for you to live with a burning and passionate heart that has been stung is purer and nobler than to live the apathetic existence of a person who has a cold heart and a shortsighted outlook"

- La Tahzan

I pray that I would go through this with patience and faith. I pray that one day, when I look back at this, I'll laugh it off and thank God that it happened because it had made me so much stronger and able then ever before.

I pray that Allah will always be with me.

. Lost Forever .

2011-03-02T07:34:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I think too much. So much so that I tend to overlook major things in my life. I became to focused to a certain issue/something that I forget to see beautiful things out there that God have prepared for me.

The Lovely Bones, a movie introduced to me by a friend helped me to realise many things. One of the things that impacted me the most is the fact that once something is lost and gone, then it is lost and gone forever.

I've never believed in that. All my life, I've hung onto many things that holds dear to me. Letting go seemed to be my weakest point and I struggle to accept things that have strayed, betrayed and left me. I used to think that nothing is ever lost and will never be gone forever.

Well, used to.

" The past is lost forever, and that which is hoped for is from the unseen. So all that you have is the present hour "

- An Arab Poet

I guess I've finally realised and begun to let go of things regardless of whether I think they are meant for me or not. Because what I think is best or meant to me is insignificant to what Allah thinks for He knows best. Subhan'Allah.

I'll end this post with this,

" Let events flow in their predestined path,

And do not sleep except with a clear mind.

Between the period of the blinking of the eye and its opening,

Allah changes things from one state to another"

- Don't Be Sad (La Tahzan)

2011-02-21T22:47:00.000+08:00

I guess it's not only the women who tends to read too much between every word verbalised or every action extended.

Pandai cari penyakit, pandai-pandai lah cari penawarnya. Pandai cari api, pandai-pandai lah padamkannyerrrrr ye.

Sekian terima kasih.

2011-02-20T11:51:00.000+08:00

. laugh-mares .

2011-02-02T20:01:00.000+08:00

While people have night terrors and nightmares, I woke up from my sleep, laughing.

I was laughing so hard during my sleep that my mom went over to my room, switched on the lights and said "Ni syaitan ni dah masuk! Syaitan dah masuk dah ni!"

Gosh. Haha.

. The Performance .

2011-01-21T12:38:00.000+08:00

Right, so this was our "final" performance for the unit. We have always enjoyed performing during farewell night since Sec1. From a squad of over 20 cadets, to 18, then to 16, then 4 and then the final 3 dopes.

Anyway, I was supposed to act all "what the hell are you two gundu's doing up on stage" in the beginning, but I guess it PHAILLLEDDD! haha. Then the song somehow abruptly stopped in the middle. Second PHAIL.

Haha.

. Panic At The Disco .

2011-01-09T22:33:00.000+08:00

Yeap, because tomorrow is my Statistics paper and failing isn't an option. Ironically, I feel so calm within. Am I really? When I kept reading the word "significant" as "magnificent" 3 times before getting it right, am I really not freaking out? -_-"

My room is in a mess, like to the max. It's as if a hurricane came and went without a hint of apology, while I am too lazy to deal with it.

Lol.

Insya-Allah things will be okay and we all will do well. Amin :)

. Inch by Inch .

2011-01-08T00:20:00.000+08:00

One of my favourite motivational speeches :)

Take the time to watch it, it's worth it.

. You're Beautiful .

2011-01-05T14:59:00.000+08:00

I've never been one of those small, petite and slim kind of girls.Being constantly surrounded by my three brothers who are all freaking tall and skinny always invite physical comparisons.

Even when I go out with my best friends, I do sometimes feel out of place.

My best male friends are all tall and skinny, while my female friends are either slim or small and petite.

I guess the hardest period for me was when I was in junior college. My clique of friends were all small and slim, while I was taller and bigger than them. I felt like a giant. I felt big.

Being comfortable in your own body is quite difficult when people keep on judging you and making comments on your body size. Words can cause a huge dent in a person's emotions.

It took me quite a while before I feel very comfortable in my own body as i am right now.

The thing is, everyone is different. Everyone has a different definition of what's fat and what's not, or who is tall and who is not.

When I go out with my male friends, they always commented on how fat and chubby I am, while when I am with my University friends, they see nothing wrong with my body size at all. This is because my male friends compare my current body size to my former body size years ago.

So now I see no point in trying to change my body size such that it would fit into another person's definition of an ideal body. The thing is, why is my body size such a concern to you anyway? Oh wait, why the heck are you even checking my body out in the first place?

My point is, be happy okay ladies?

There are sooo many big/plus sized girls out there who are making it big in the modelling/entertainment industry. There's ladies like . . .

Colbie Calliat

Alicia Keys

All of us can never be the same.

Be proud of who you are and and accept the fact that just like everything else, your body change too.

Be happy and be confident. Nothing is sexier than confidence.

And yes, ladies, you are all so very beautiful inside and out :)

We can't all be as small and petite as Christina Aguilera, but we can be as confident, independent and successful in our own field of expertise and be as powerful as her voice is.

Be strong! <3

2011-01-03T09:12:00.000+08:00

A lot of things happened in 2010. There were episodes when I lost my balance, my principles and my nerves. My goodness, talk about breaking down, I had never broke down as much as I did in 2010.

Yet, there were many lessons learnt. I found gems among the rocks and diamonds among the sands.

While we ladies always complain about having damaged hair, I have damaged relationships. So, in 2011, I'm going to strive to make it all better.

Being involved in too many things and trying to juggle my commitments was not joke. I swear, my energy was almost used up before half the day was gone and coffee became my loyal companion.

2010 forced me out from my own bubble and taught me life's precious lessons that I will never ever take for granted.

It's time to go all out, have fun, spread love and be determined. Insya-Allah, I'll be an even better independent muslimah.

2011-01-02T23:40:00.000+08:00

After all of those moving about, from blogspot to wordpress and then to tumblr, I've decided to go back to basics.

Hello blogspot. I'm back :)